This is hilarious....had a good time laughing away...abit political though


It's the start of a brand new year. Here's some advice from TalkingCock.com's in-house philosopher Confuseus (a foreign talent from the Mainland. Look, he was cheap, okay?), which will hopefully make 2004 more pleasant for you than 2003. ( Sorry but no guarantee.)


20. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

19. There may be more than one way to skin a cat, but don’t be so neow, lah.

18. Those who live in glass houses better have powderful curtains.

17. Half a loaf is better than none, unless you’re on a low-carb diet.

16. Don't burn your bridges behind you. Wait kena fine, then you know.

15. Don't cut off your nose to spite your face. You think you who? Michael Jackson?

14. If you give a man a fish, you feed him for a day. If you teach him to fish, he will sit in a boat whole day long and drink beer.

13. Before you criticize someone, you should first walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

12. If at first you don't succeed, don't go skydiving.

11. Do not be a frog in a well. In fact, don't be a frog at all if you can help it.

10. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a notification to MINDEF.

9. Blood is thicker than water, but less gross than Newater.

8. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of credit card payments.

7. You need not suffer in silence. You can also moan, whimper, and complain.

6. Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

5. Don't make a mountain out of a molehill, unless the molehill is unusually large.

4. Curiosity killed the cat. Or maybe it was the Agri-food and Veterinary Authority of Singapore. I can't remember.

3. All work and no play beats being unemployed.

2. When the going gets tough, check out Australia or Canada.


And the number one piece of advice for 2004:
1. Please: delete those nasty digital photos of your maid from your hard disk.





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