100 questions... ok man...this si a challenge
1. Full name: Lee Chun Siong Enos
2. Nicknames: alot...... jx, cs , jump , da xiong, ah xiong , da ge , ah pui*fatty in hokkien* , fatty*only that oliver calls me this* & buddha & this si ery long...a personal one i liked alot... Xing Wo Zhe De Jiu..in mandarin...hahaha it means those who believe in me will be saved...ahahhahaha...this one is coined by my sec basketball team mates...
3. Eyes: black ba....asian mah...used to be grey..coz i bought grey contacts...
4. Height: 178cm
5. Hair: black with blonde streaks
6. Siblings: a younger brother and a sister...another 5 brothers & 2 sisters....do i have to count my other brothers too...alot leh...
7. Do u like to sing during shower?: not really...
8. Do u like to sing in The Toilet? : nope...i used it more constructively for reading
9. Birthday: 19th May
10. Sign: sign where ? lolx....Taurus
11. Address: leejump@singnet.com.sg..thatz my address in the cyber world eh....lolx
12. Gender: wat u sae leh
13. Righty or lefty: right.. but i am ambitexrous whnen i play pool / basketball / snooker
14. What do you want in a relationship most?: companionship ?
15. Have you ever cheated on someone?: politically correct answer is "No Comments"...hence No Comments
16. Marital status: single
17. Do you have a car?: 2....oh u mean car ah...nope
18. What kinda car do you want?: MPV....hahaahha...can put in more pple
19. Movie: Xing Yuan....an extremely sad movie...first time i watched a movie and still cry despite my age...lolx...embrassing eh
20. Song: current is the yu jian by stefanie sun
22. TV Show: Comedies...i used to love perfect strangers...remember Balki ?
25. Food: anythign except vegs
26. Number: 7 & 23
27. Cartoon: GTO....anime leh
29. Colour: Red & Yellow & Or-leng & white
30. Do you plan on having children: ermmm...if i find sum1...
31. Do you want to get married: see Qn 30 for answer
32. How old do u wanna be when you have your first child: see Qn 30 for answer
33. How old do u wanna be when you're married: see Qn 30 for answer
34. Would you have kids before marriage: see Qn 30 for answer
35. Do you have a b/f or g/f : nope
37. Do you have a crush: politically correct answer is "No Comments"...hence No Comments
38. Music/TV?: dun understand this qn
39. Guys/Girls: dun understand this qn
40. Green/Blue: blue...dislike green as it associates too closely to army
41. Pink/Purple: pink....coz fenny likes purple...lolx
42. Summer/Winter: winter...summer too hot liaos...will perpetually die
43. Night/Day: night..coolin eh
44. Hangin Out/Chillin: got third option 'slacking' or not
47. what school do u go to?: School of Life
48. have you ever taken drugs?: yup...paracetomol
49. What's a major turn on for you?: hmmmm.... i know how cliche this sounds.. personality
50. How far would you go on a first date?: within singapore...lolx
51. The PERSON you know who is... Most Blonde: used to be my younger bro
54. is it right to flirt if you have a bf/gf?: lolx...ask esmund for his signature move k guys...
56. what's something about guys/girls you don't get?: If u ever understadn a gal, give me a tinkle, dinner and movies all on me...i had a joke in here somewhere abt this..
57. are you happy?: if i get to wake up late and leave office on time and have an endless supply of PS2 games and DVDs and Serial VCDs....probaly yes...
60. Love or lust: love ba
61. Silver or gold: i know how ah beng this sounds but still...gold
62. Diamond or pearl: diamond ba...got re-sale value
63. Sun set or sunrise: sunset...never seen sun rise b4....mostly asleep
64. Have you ever gone skinny-dipping (to swim in the nude): hahahahahahahahaha
65. Do you sleep with stuffed animals: do i look like a wuzz...
66. Do you have any piercing?: ask esmund for his signature move
67. What color underpants are you wearing?: very hard to explain in blog leh
68. What song are you listening to right now?: Žâ›‹“I‹G?ß by “©‹g‹g
69. What are the last four digits of your phone number?: 7141
70. Where would you want to go on your honeymoon? see Qn 30 for answer
74. What makes you happy?: see Qn 57 for answer
75. What's the next cd/s you're gonna get/buy?: Dunno....
77. What's the best advice given to you?: Live for the moment... Live your life as though it is the last
78. Have you ever won any special awards?: yup...for WITS in army...For basketball stuff...
79. What are your future goals?: see Qn 57 for answer
80. Worst sickness u ever had?: fever....during world cup...it was terrible...having fever and have to stress myself to watch matches
81. Do you like Funny or scary movies better?: funny
82. On the phone or in person?: in person
84. What song seems to reflect you the most?: wang le ai by Van Fan....lolx
85. If you die tmr who would u leave everything to?: i know who but i ain't tellin
86. Do you have any enemies? : dun tink so...
87. What is your greatest fear?: ratz
88. Would you rather be rich or famous?: rich...can give to church and family
89. What time is it in Albania now?: wat am i...einstein
90. You ever been in love?: guess so
91. Have u met Santa?: ask esmund for his signature move
93. When was the last time you talked to the person that you like: no comments
94. Do u have any pets?: 2 tortises, 1 luo han
98. Who sent this to you?: nope...i ripped it off someone's LJ
99. What do you think of this person: not applicable
100. Why am i doing this?: test of my patience...ahahahhhaahahaha
October 3, 2003
SWIPED OFF LIVI'S BLOG
A man was leaving church one day. The Pastor was standing at the door (as he always is) to shake hands with members of the congregation. He grasped the man by the hand and pulled him aside. The Pastor said to him, 'You need to join the Army of the Lord!'
The man replied, 'I'm already in the Army of the Lord, Pastor.'
Pastor questioned, 'How come I don't see you except at Christmas and Easter?'
He whispered back, 'Shhhhhhhhh. I'm in the secret service.'
o_0
HMMM.....ties in quite nicely with my previous entry ah...
A man was leaving church one day. The Pastor was standing at the door (as he always is) to shake hands with members of the congregation. He grasped the man by the hand and pulled him aside. The Pastor said to him, 'You need to join the Army of the Lord!'
The man replied, 'I'm already in the Army of the Lord, Pastor.'
Pastor questioned, 'How come I don't see you except at Christmas and Easter?'
He whispered back, 'Shhhhhhhhh. I'm in the secret service.'
o_0
HMMM.....ties in quite nicely with my previous entry ah...
Woe to Teachers eh...no more long holidays...no more paid leave...but i honestly tink they might not make it in the working world leh...coz everyday used to shouting at students and the like...hahahahaha
-------------------
FROM December, teachers will be able to go for work attachments with the business sector and community organisations, or teach in schools abroad.
This is part of the Education Ministry's plan for them to gain experience outside the classroom so that they return with skills to share, said Acting Education Minister Tharman Shanmugaratnam.
Teachers who have a chance to gain fresh perspectives will also create a spirit of innovation and enterprise in schools, said Mr Tharman, who spoke to reporters during the ministry's work-plan seminar at Ngee Ann Polytechnic yesterday.
He explained: 'These outside encounters will allow them to... transmit lessons to their students that cannot be readily conveyed through books.'
Mr Andrew Tan, 31, who heads Jurong Junior College's research and development department, was one of several teachers who told The Straits Times how invaluable they found such experiences.
Two years ago, he spent eight weeks with a biotechnology company in the United States. 'It made me more sensitive to what is required in the workforce,' he said.
For one thing, he realised he could not focus on teaching content alone because it would be obsolete by the time his students joined the workforce. 'Instead, I started teaching them how to conduct independent research so that they can learn on their own, even after they have graduated,' he said.
His colleague, corporate services head Victor Owyong, 33, spent two days with the Jurong Central and Boon Lay citizens' consultative committees in the last two weeks.
He said: 'I watched how they function and learnt the importance of networking because grassroots organisations cannot function alone.
'It's useful because part of my job is to find opportunities for the JC to collaborate with other organisations and to market the JC to secondary schools.'
A professional development leave scheme lets teachers earn a month of half-pay leave for every year they serve.
They can also take up to a year of unpaid leave after three years' service.
Those who go on attachment during the school holidays can get up to four weeks off on full pay.
They can decide how long they want to be away, up to a maximum of one year.
Citibank, Creative Technology, IBM, Shell, PSA Corp, ornamental fish company Qian Hu and ST Engineering have already said they are interested in offering such attachments.
**Taken of ST-online**
-------------------
FROM December, teachers will be able to go for work attachments with the business sector and community organisations, or teach in schools abroad.
This is part of the Education Ministry's plan for them to gain experience outside the classroom so that they return with skills to share, said Acting Education Minister Tharman Shanmugaratnam.
Teachers who have a chance to gain fresh perspectives will also create a spirit of innovation and enterprise in schools, said Mr Tharman, who spoke to reporters during the ministry's work-plan seminar at Ngee Ann Polytechnic yesterday.
He explained: 'These outside encounters will allow them to... transmit lessons to their students that cannot be readily conveyed through books.'
Mr Andrew Tan, 31, who heads Jurong Junior College's research and development department, was one of several teachers who told The Straits Times how invaluable they found such experiences.
Two years ago, he spent eight weeks with a biotechnology company in the United States. 'It made me more sensitive to what is required in the workforce,' he said.
For one thing, he realised he could not focus on teaching content alone because it would be obsolete by the time his students joined the workforce. 'Instead, I started teaching them how to conduct independent research so that they can learn on their own, even after they have graduated,' he said.
His colleague, corporate services head Victor Owyong, 33, spent two days with the Jurong Central and Boon Lay citizens' consultative committees in the last two weeks.
He said: 'I watched how they function and learnt the importance of networking because grassroots organisations cannot function alone.
'It's useful because part of my job is to find opportunities for the JC to collaborate with other organisations and to market the JC to secondary schools.'
A professional development leave scheme lets teachers earn a month of half-pay leave for every year they serve.
They can also take up to a year of unpaid leave after three years' service.
Those who go on attachment during the school holidays can get up to four weeks off on full pay.
They can decide how long they want to be away, up to a maximum of one year.
Citibank, Creative Technology, IBM, Shell, PSA Corp, ornamental fish company Qian Hu and ST Engineering have already said they are interested in offering such attachments.
**Taken of ST-online**
October 1, 2003
A very interesting piece of article... extremely engaging.... a must read
Been Thinking About: The Existence of God
by Mr Mart De Haan
A mature Christian woman recently told me of an experience that caused her to doubt the existence of God.
Hearing a woman of the church talk about her doubts got my attention. Over the years I've thought of women not only as the gender chosen to give physical birth but most likely to nurture spiritual life as well.
By contrast, I know men who resonate with a line from "Inherit the Wind", the dramatic portrayal of the famous Scopes Monkey Trial. The event was historic. The state was challenging a teacher's right to teach evolution in public schools. When a prospective juror was being examined for religious prejudice he replied, "My wife tends to religion for both of us." His comment reminds me of Paul's New Testament letter to Timothy where he refers to the faith that was first in Timothy's grandmother and mother (2 Timothy 1:5). Over the years I've known many women who have faithfully prayed for their unbelieving children, husbands, and fathers.
Yet after the recent conversation, I began to think about the wives and mothers I've known who, at difficult times in their lives, have had deep and disturbing questions about the existence of God. I remembered the obvious--that neither men nor women are immune to crises of faith.
Reasons to doubt
I suspect that women experience spiritual uncertainty for many of the same reasons men do. Global disasters, personal losses, unanswered prayers, church scandals, and abuse of spiritual authority are just some of the factors that can cause both men and women to wonder if their faith in God has been wishful thinking.
An additional complication for people of the church is the pressure we feel to deny our doubts. While agnostics and atheists use unanswerable questions to support their worldview, it is more difficult for people of faith to face and process thoughts that seem to threaten what is most important to us. Other resistance comes from friends and family who are alarmed by tough and irreverent questions. Then there is the pressure that seems to come from the Bible itself. What are we supposed to think when the first words of Genesis simply say, "In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth"?
How can we turn our minds off and just assume that God is there? How can we "just believe" in One who has always existed? Why would there be a God in the first place? In the shadows of such looming questions, it's important for us to know that Moses wasn't asking for a blind leap when he wrote the first words of Genesis.
Reasons to believe
Imagine looking over Moses' shoulder as he slowly pens, "In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth." What could he have been thinking? What reasons did he have to believe? What did he know about his subject as he wrote his famous opening line?
Exodus came before Genesis
Since Moses was born long after Adam and Eve, we know he was not sitting on a rock watching creation happen when he wrote Genesis. So where was he? The only plausible answer I'm aware of is that he compiled the book of beginnings while camped in the Wilderness of Sinai--after the supernatural events of the Exodus.
The miracles that broke the grip of the Egyptian Pharaoh were part of the national record by the time Moses started writing. With millions of his countrymen, he had seen a powerful God open a path through the Red Sea and defeat the armies of Pharaoh. Together they had seen Him provide for their hungry, thirsty children in a barren, sun-baked wilderness. Day after day, they had seen God's presence in a pillar of smoke by day, and fire by night. Camped at the foot of Mount Sinai, they had heard His voice. Then, in some of the darkest and most memorable days of their lives, they had seen a plague swallow up members of the family who had not learned to fear or trust the God who had been revealing Himself to them.
Moses' knowledge of God was more than wishful thinking or speculative philosophy. It was a compelling fact of history. The powerful, undeniable evidence he saw left no doubts in his mind that there was a God who cared for him and the people he led.
Christ came before the church
The practice of using history to confirm the existence and love of God is repeated throughout the Bible. Many years after Moses, a woman named Mary of Magdala spread the word that she had seen Jesus of Nazareth after His resurrection from the dead (John 20:18). Later, the rest of Jesus' disciples joined her in confirming not only His empty grave, but face-to-face meetings with Him after His execution and burial. In one of these meetings, a man named Thomas touched Jesus' scarred body while the other disciples looked on. In another meeting on the shore of Galilee, Jesus prepared a fish breakfast and ate with a group of His friends.
The God who proved Himself to Israel by making "the exodus" part of their national history is the One who gave the church a "new exodus" through the life, death, and resurrection of Christ. As God used Moses to lead Israel out of slavery in Egypt, He used His Son to lead His people out of greater bondage of sin and death.
Although many questions remain, one answer is clear. The God of the exodus and the resurrection doesn't expect us to just believe in Him. In addition to the historical record of the Bible, He has left His fingerprints and signature all over creation (Romans 1:18-21), and His footprints in the circumstances of our lives (Acts 17:22-34).
Father in heaven, thank You for giving us the national record of Your people and the life, death, and resurrection of Your Son. Thank You for showing us not only that You exist but that You care for us with a love that is so much greater than our doubts.
Food For Thot
Have you ever questioned the existence of God? Has Mart's article helped to secure your faith in God's existence and care for you? What events in your past prompt you to believe there is a God?
Been Thinking About: The Existence of God
by Mr Mart De Haan
A mature Christian woman recently told me of an experience that caused her to doubt the existence of God.
Hearing a woman of the church talk about her doubts got my attention. Over the years I've thought of women not only as the gender chosen to give physical birth but most likely to nurture spiritual life as well.
By contrast, I know men who resonate with a line from "Inherit the Wind", the dramatic portrayal of the famous Scopes Monkey Trial. The event was historic. The state was challenging a teacher's right to teach evolution in public schools. When a prospective juror was being examined for religious prejudice he replied, "My wife tends to religion for both of us." His comment reminds me of Paul's New Testament letter to Timothy where he refers to the faith that was first in Timothy's grandmother and mother (2 Timothy 1:5). Over the years I've known many women who have faithfully prayed for their unbelieving children, husbands, and fathers.
Yet after the recent conversation, I began to think about the wives and mothers I've known who, at difficult times in their lives, have had deep and disturbing questions about the existence of God. I remembered the obvious--that neither men nor women are immune to crises of faith.
Reasons to doubt
I suspect that women experience spiritual uncertainty for many of the same reasons men do. Global disasters, personal losses, unanswered prayers, church scandals, and abuse of spiritual authority are just some of the factors that can cause both men and women to wonder if their faith in God has been wishful thinking.
An additional complication for people of the church is the pressure we feel to deny our doubts. While agnostics and atheists use unanswerable questions to support their worldview, it is more difficult for people of faith to face and process thoughts that seem to threaten what is most important to us. Other resistance comes from friends and family who are alarmed by tough and irreverent questions. Then there is the pressure that seems to come from the Bible itself. What are we supposed to think when the first words of Genesis simply say, "In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth"?
How can we turn our minds off and just assume that God is there? How can we "just believe" in One who has always existed? Why would there be a God in the first place? In the shadows of such looming questions, it's important for us to know that Moses wasn't asking for a blind leap when he wrote the first words of Genesis.
Reasons to believe
Imagine looking over Moses' shoulder as he slowly pens, "In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth." What could he have been thinking? What reasons did he have to believe? What did he know about his subject as he wrote his famous opening line?
Exodus came before Genesis
Since Moses was born long after Adam and Eve, we know he was not sitting on a rock watching creation happen when he wrote Genesis. So where was he? The only plausible answer I'm aware of is that he compiled the book of beginnings while camped in the Wilderness of Sinai--after the supernatural events of the Exodus.
The miracles that broke the grip of the Egyptian Pharaoh were part of the national record by the time Moses started writing. With millions of his countrymen, he had seen a powerful God open a path through the Red Sea and defeat the armies of Pharaoh. Together they had seen Him provide for their hungry, thirsty children in a barren, sun-baked wilderness. Day after day, they had seen God's presence in a pillar of smoke by day, and fire by night. Camped at the foot of Mount Sinai, they had heard His voice. Then, in some of the darkest and most memorable days of their lives, they had seen a plague swallow up members of the family who had not learned to fear or trust the God who had been revealing Himself to them.
Moses' knowledge of God was more than wishful thinking or speculative philosophy. It was a compelling fact of history. The powerful, undeniable evidence he saw left no doubts in his mind that there was a God who cared for him and the people he led.
Christ came before the church
The practice of using history to confirm the existence and love of God is repeated throughout the Bible. Many years after Moses, a woman named Mary of Magdala spread the word that she had seen Jesus of Nazareth after His resurrection from the dead (John 20:18). Later, the rest of Jesus' disciples joined her in confirming not only His empty grave, but face-to-face meetings with Him after His execution and burial. In one of these meetings, a man named Thomas touched Jesus' scarred body while the other disciples looked on. In another meeting on the shore of Galilee, Jesus prepared a fish breakfast and ate with a group of His friends.
The God who proved Himself to Israel by making "the exodus" part of their national history is the One who gave the church a "new exodus" through the life, death, and resurrection of Christ. As God used Moses to lead Israel out of slavery in Egypt, He used His Son to lead His people out of greater bondage of sin and death.
Although many questions remain, one answer is clear. The God of the exodus and the resurrection doesn't expect us to just believe in Him. In addition to the historical record of the Bible, He has left His fingerprints and signature all over creation (Romans 1:18-21), and His footprints in the circumstances of our lives (Acts 17:22-34).
Father in heaven, thank You for giving us the national record of Your people and the life, death, and resurrection of Your Son. Thank You for showing us not only that You exist but that You care for us with a love that is so much greater than our doubts.
Food For Thot
Have you ever questioned the existence of God? Has Mart's article helped to secure your faith in God's existence and care for you? What events in your past prompt you to believe there is a God?
September 29, 2003
My Thotz
i tink it is perfectly rationale to rant abt the love of our lives...be it a dog or a guy/gal or even a pair of shoes...I tink we can see it so evidently in journals especially when pple start to rant on and on abt their fave manga , pple etc etc....
What i find especially astounding is that pple will take the slightest offence when the centre of your/my affection is J-E-S-U-S....it seems like He ain't worthy to be the centre fold of our lives... what i am trying to say here is.... do not let ANYONE decide how openly u love JESUS....He died openly for u, naked and crucified to the cross... And all we manage is a feeable "I m sorry that i proclaimed abt Jesus"...No ! i am not angry....I am not being a Pro-watever watever... I just wanna rationalise with all of you that if u can proclaim to love that dog/cat/guy/gal/object, We can proclaim out loud that Jesus Lives too
You see....if we allow ourselves to be dictated by our non-believing frenz**No offence to u guyz who do not know jesus but i have to sae it** according to their knowledge of Christianity and bias-ness i tink we will never go beyond the infant stage of Christianiy and i believe we will fall some day....Really i mean it..... so i rather we share the truth....the pure unadulterated 100% truth to them.....tell them wat it means to follow Him and take up the cross... Share it...Preach it...Show it.... Wat i am advocating here is not 'Operation Die-Hard' k **Hahahah...this might jolt some sleepin minds** wat i am trying to tell u is we r living in the end of end times, we have to save more souls....
i fully apologise if i have offended anyone with watever i have said above but i still wanna tell u that ' Jesus is the way ; the only way.... No one comes to the Father except thru Him'...Tink abt it....
i tink it is perfectly rationale to rant abt the love of our lives...be it a dog or a guy/gal or even a pair of shoes...I tink we can see it so evidently in journals especially when pple start to rant on and on abt their fave manga , pple etc etc....
What i find especially astounding is that pple will take the slightest offence when the centre of your/my affection is J-E-S-U-S....it seems like He ain't worthy to be the centre fold of our lives... what i am trying to say here is.... do not let ANYONE decide how openly u love JESUS....He died openly for u, naked and crucified to the cross... And all we manage is a feeable "I m sorry that i proclaimed abt Jesus"...No ! i am not angry....I am not being a Pro-watever watever... I just wanna rationalise with all of you that if u can proclaim to love that dog/cat/guy/gal/object, We can proclaim out loud that Jesus Lives too
You see....if we allow ourselves to be dictated by our non-believing frenz**No offence to u guyz who do not know jesus but i have to sae it** according to their knowledge of Christianity and bias-ness i tink we will never go beyond the infant stage of Christianiy and i believe we will fall some day....Really i mean it..... so i rather we share the truth....the pure unadulterated 100% truth to them.....tell them wat it means to follow Him and take up the cross... Share it...Preach it...Show it.... Wat i am advocating here is not 'Operation Die-Hard' k **Hahahah...this might jolt some sleepin minds** wat i am trying to tell u is we r living in the end of end times, we have to save more souls....
i fully apologise if i have offended anyone with watever i have said above but i still wanna tell u that ' Jesus is the way ; the only way.... No one comes to the Father except thru Him'...Tink abt it....
September 28, 2003
Something I read ... Rather Satrical...
Mr Tan runs a business selling plastic toys. He hired managers Chan and Dick to help run the company. The production line has five workers: Ah Beng, Ah Seng, Ah Huat, Muthu and Ali.
As the CEO, Mr Tan pays himself a million dollars a year. His justification is: "without a good leader, the business will not be successful; and you won't get a good leader if you're unwilling to pay for one." Mr Tan has never worked in another company before.
Chan had won a government scholarship twenty years ago while Dick is an expatriate from America. Mr Tan thinks very highly of them and pays them each half-a-million dollars a year.
As an expatriate, Dick also gets housing, transport and relocation allowances amounting to a quarter of a million dollars a year.
The production workers each gets $1,500 a month with $300 going towards a retirement gratuity that the company would match dollar-for-dollar.
The business hasn't been going too well. In fact, business has been downright awful for the last few years. Consumers seem to prefer the cheaper plastic toys from companies across the street.
Mr Tan is furious. "These consumers are a bunch of idiots," he said, "don't they know that the companies across the street are not managed by talents like Chan, Dick and myself?"
Mr Tan has always been deeply impressed by Chan and Dick. Chan has the remarkable ability to use words like "synergy" and "paradigm shift" in every sentence. And Dick? Dick is white.
So Mr Tan got down to some serious discussions with Chan and Dick. After many hours of brain storming, they decided that they know what's wrong with the company.
"We don't have enough talents," Mr Tan declared, "we need to hire more scholars and white men." And he did. So now, there's Ang, who was Chan's best friend when they were in RI, and Brad, Dick's brother. They are hired on the same terms as Chan and Dick.
To reward themselves for coming up with this visionary strategy, Mr Tan gave Chan, Dick and himself a 10% raise.
With the raise and the hiring of two new management staff, Mr Tan figured that he had to cut cost. So he laid off Ah Huat, who's about to retire and receive his retirement gratuity from the company.
The remaining four production workers now have to work 12 hours a day to cover for Ah Huat. They didn't get any compensation for this extra work because Mr Tan told them that this is a difficult time for the company and all workers have to make some personal sacrifices. "Luckily, we now have a world class management team and business will pick up in no time," Mr Tan proclaimed.
However, business hasn't picked up at all despite having a world class management team. On the contrary, business seems to have worsen quite a bit.
Mr Tan is now even more furious. He has no doubt that he and his management staff are world class. So the problem with the company must surely lie with the blue-collar workers like Ah Beng and his gang, who hardly have any paper qualifications and speak dialect and Singlish. But just to be sure, he engaged the services of a management consultancy firm to confirm his belief.
The management consultant cost Mr Tan an arm and a leg but he identified the problem: "Your labour cost is way too high. Do you know that the average annual wage of your employees is more than $400,000? That's ten times the amount for the companies across the street."
"Ah ha! Just as I thought," Mr Tan congratulated himself on arriving at the same conclusion as a world class management consultant, "Ah Beng and his gang are overpaid."
So Mr Tan reduced the salary of his production workers to $1,000 a month and abolished the retirement gratuity scheme.
Hahahhahahah.....
Mr Tan runs a business selling plastic toys. He hired managers Chan and Dick to help run the company. The production line has five workers: Ah Beng, Ah Seng, Ah Huat, Muthu and Ali.
As the CEO, Mr Tan pays himself a million dollars a year. His justification is: "without a good leader, the business will not be successful; and you won't get a good leader if you're unwilling to pay for one." Mr Tan has never worked in another company before.
Chan had won a government scholarship twenty years ago while Dick is an expatriate from America. Mr Tan thinks very highly of them and pays them each half-a-million dollars a year.
As an expatriate, Dick also gets housing, transport and relocation allowances amounting to a quarter of a million dollars a year.
The production workers each gets $1,500 a month with $300 going towards a retirement gratuity that the company would match dollar-for-dollar.
The business hasn't been going too well. In fact, business has been downright awful for the last few years. Consumers seem to prefer the cheaper plastic toys from companies across the street.
Mr Tan is furious. "These consumers are a bunch of idiots," he said, "don't they know that the companies across the street are not managed by talents like Chan, Dick and myself?"
Mr Tan has always been deeply impressed by Chan and Dick. Chan has the remarkable ability to use words like "synergy" and "paradigm shift" in every sentence. And Dick? Dick is white.
So Mr Tan got down to some serious discussions with Chan and Dick. After many hours of brain storming, they decided that they know what's wrong with the company.
"We don't have enough talents," Mr Tan declared, "we need to hire more scholars and white men." And he did. So now, there's Ang, who was Chan's best friend when they were in RI, and Brad, Dick's brother. They are hired on the same terms as Chan and Dick.
To reward themselves for coming up with this visionary strategy, Mr Tan gave Chan, Dick and himself a 10% raise.
With the raise and the hiring of two new management staff, Mr Tan figured that he had to cut cost. So he laid off Ah Huat, who's about to retire and receive his retirement gratuity from the company.
The remaining four production workers now have to work 12 hours a day to cover for Ah Huat. They didn't get any compensation for this extra work because Mr Tan told them that this is a difficult time for the company and all workers have to make some personal sacrifices. "Luckily, we now have a world class management team and business will pick up in no time," Mr Tan proclaimed.
However, business hasn't picked up at all despite having a world class management team. On the contrary, business seems to have worsen quite a bit.
Mr Tan is now even more furious. He has no doubt that he and his management staff are world class. So the problem with the company must surely lie with the blue-collar workers like Ah Beng and his gang, who hardly have any paper qualifications and speak dialect and Singlish. But just to be sure, he engaged the services of a management consultancy firm to confirm his belief.
The management consultant cost Mr Tan an arm and a leg but he identified the problem: "Your labour cost is way too high. Do you know that the average annual wage of your employees is more than $400,000? That's ten times the amount for the companies across the street."
"Ah ha! Just as I thought," Mr Tan congratulated himself on arriving at the same conclusion as a world class management consultant, "Ah Beng and his gang are overpaid."
So Mr Tan reduced the salary of his production workers to $1,000 a month and abolished the retirement gratuity scheme.
Hahahhahahah.....
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