The Guys' Rules

The Guys' Rules
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down
Finally, the guys' side of the story. (I must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear "the rules" from the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules!
Please note these are all numbered "1"ON PURPOSE!

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.
Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh!!

Budget airline - Air ChinChye

What you may get when u fly cheap airlines ....

"Good morning, Ladies and Gentlemen. This is your captain (mr chin chye lai) welcoming you on board..... I apologise if I cannot see you...can see nothing from my cockit anyway, light's not working....

We apologise for the delay in taking off, some minor problem, just replace the engine, new engine cannibalised from the aircraft that decided to take a swim in the south china sea...

This is flight 126 from Senaisini to New Delhi. Landing in Delhi is not guaranteed, but we will end up somewhere in the region. And if luck is on our side, we may even be landing on your village!

Standards are such that even the terrorists are afraid to fly with us!

It is with pleasure that I announce that starting this year over 50 of our passengers have reached their destination. For the ones that don't quite make it, our staff have all the requisite experience for consoling the next-of-kin.

Our stewardess, Maggie, will be happy to brief you on our out-of-court settlement policies.

If our engines are too noisy for you, on passenger request, we can arrange to turn them off. To make your free fall to earth pleasant and memorable, we serve complimentary samosas and lassi

For our not-so-religious passengers, we are the only airline who can help you find out if there really is a God.


We regret to inform you, that today's in-flight movie "Hands off my chutney" will not be shown, as we forgot to record it from the television. But for our movie buffs, we will be flying alongside Singapore Airlines, where their movie will be visible from the right side of the cabin window.

We regret to advise that smoking is prohibited on this flight. Any smoke you see in the cabin is only the early warning system on the engines telling us to slow down. Life jackets are positioned under your seats and free bathing costumes are made available to the Aunties and swimming shorts to the Uncles...it is likely that you will need them later.

Kindly be seated, keep your seat in an upright position for take off and fasten your belt. For those of you who can't find a seat belt, kindly fasten your own belt to the arm of your seat.

For those of you who don't have a seat, do not hesitate to get in touch with our stewardess, Maggie, who will explain how to fasten yourself to your suitcase. otherwise suka lu lah....

If I don't see you again, enjoy your flight with Air chinchye.

Thank you

hmmm...spend a sunday nite at tampines yesterday....met some of my army frenz while waitin for a fren... managed to chat with them for half an hour...haha

Then met my fren and chatted awhile....very interesting that on a sunday nite, we are still so awake...coz when we went home we chatted till almost 3am...

haha...needless to say this mornin was a dreary affair...struggled to get out of bed... Wahaha...then was on my way out and had a sms-chat with a fren...

hmmm...so far so good on a lazy cool monday morning