No mood to work ... really ... No mood to do anything else ... How ?!?!?!?!!?

I can drop everything ... really everything ... if only she comes back ... if only i din go to kl

Had a dream earlier this morning....

Dreamt that we were back together...everything just fell so nicely in place...Falling back into love...

Am i a loser for having such dreams...

Am i such a loser in emotions...

Am i incapicitated already...

I really loved her... ok...maybe loved is nto a good word to use here... it should be 'love'...coz it is till now....

I really dunno wat came over me... I've lost sleep over this... I've lost my heart & soul... I know this is bad...

I can no longer live this life... Not without you

LYRICS TO FAN YI CHEN 'AI QIN CHENG SHI'


Rather reflective of my mood nowsadays

NO MOOD TO WORK

NO MOOD TO SHOP

NO MOOD TO PLAY GAMES

DAMN...THIS MUST THE 'HAMBUG' THEY'RE TALKING ABT...TINK MY LIFE IS JUST ABT TO GET AS INTERESTIN AS MS BUTTERFLY... THOUGH MAYBE STILL NOT QUITE JUST YET...

2 WORDS BEST DESCRIBE ME AT THIS POINT IN TIME...

'LOST' 'CONFUSED'


WHY...

DUN ASK ME...IF I KNEW, I WOULD HAVE GOTTEN A SOLUTION ROUND IT...

ASK SUM1 ELSE...THAT PERSON BEST EXPLAINS IT...

WHO IS IT... HOWDAHELL WOULD I KNOW

IF I KNEW, THE ABOVE-MENTIONED WOULDN'T BE USED RITE !

Well was on the phone with her 2 nites ago or rather early yesterday morning... haven talked to her in for a long long while...Not seen her for 22 days & counting ; Not heard her lovely voice for 4 days to be exact...

She sounded great as usual but kinda distant.. I decided to cut the chase and get to the point I asked her watz happening? She said it's matter of perspective and i just got too heavily involved emotionally and now both of us r heart-broken (obviously i suffer more). Everytime i talk to her she sounds so happie.. i think the problem's with me.. maybe there's sum1 much more caring and understanding than me.. maybe there's sum1 more good looking.. maybe there's sum1 more thoughtful.. the more maybe-s i come up with, the more loser i feel.. seriously...

I'm going thru a rough patch now trying to ease the pain but apparently with no success.. and in between, i just cant get myself to like someone else anymore..I just cannot say stop and forget her and move on... You tell me how do u stop loving sum1 whom u poured out unconditionally in everyway imagined...how do u stop cause everytime i tink of her, all the memories just keep rushing back like a tsunami..

There has to be a stop somewhere..

Maybe I’m just plain dumb and stoopid

Maybe dying is a way of stopping this intolerable suffering

Journey

It's a long long journey
Till I know where I'm supposed to be
It's a long long journey
And I don't know if I can believe
When shadows fall and block my eyes
I am lost and know that I must hide
It's a long long journey
Till I find my way home to you
Many days I've spent
Drifting on through empty shores
Wondering what's my purpose
Wondering how to make me strong
I know I will falter I know I will cry
I know you'll be standing by my side
It's a long long journey
And I need to be close to you
Sometimes it feels no one understands
I don't even know why
I do the things I do
When pride builds me up till I can't see my soul
Will you break down these walls and pull me through?
Cause It's a long long journey
Till I feel that I am worth the price
You paid for me on calvary
Beneath those stormy skies
When Satan mocks and friends turn to foes
It feel like everything is out to make me lose control
It's a long long journey
Till I find my way home to you. to you


This is a song today i found.... sent to me by you... Irony ain't it... I need you yet the things u r doing....

BEST XMAS OF MY LIFE

As the title goes...

I tink this would be probaly the numero uno Xmas of my life...

I tink nothing else in my life comes close...Really not even that one

I tink i felt the loneliest , strangest , weirdest yuletide of all men...

I tink my whole world is crumbling down... maybe not tink but seriously

I tink I'm seriously in trouble....

I tink I'm losing myself... Never knew heart break could be this bad

I am definitely goign bonkers... Why am i being ignored... Why am i deemed as the one in the wrong...

I am defintely still very much in love with you... Maybe someday you will realise my good & my heart for you...

Maybe we will be together again someday... Perhaps Perhaps Perhaps....