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talk about being bimbotic....read today edition of TNP....

excerpts from Pg 12 - 13

Marine Parade GRC MP Lim Hwee Hua, who is also chairman of the PAP Women's Wing, said:"Women have equal access to education and employment...It's a form of discrimination if only men serve NS..."
~Frankly speaking, i do not know wat's discrimination nowsadays....with so vague laws and terms of engagement~

"Doing such a stint is beneficial as it prepares them for emergencies"
"It's an excellent opportunity for women to pick up skills that'll be relevant for the rest of their lives. She added that these women will also be able fill up the staffing shortages in hospitals, now mostly filled by foreigners"

~Very interesting eh...tink of a brown haired ah lian about to administer a shot into ur vein while calming u down with her ciggy filled breath~

Lastly ah...this is my personal favourite and tells us of the teen of today

"I will not want to be enlisted. There are other things i can do to prove my equality in gender."

So wat's there abt equality.... very funny hor~

Stunned this off reagan's blog...very farni lah...cannot tahan

Little Johnny was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar after another. After the sixth one a man on the bench across from him said, "Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It will give you acne, rot your teeth, make you fat."
Little Johnny replied, "My grandfather lived to be 107 years old."
The man asked, "Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?"
Little Johnny answered, "No, he minded his own business!"

This is really hilarious....hmmm...if it happens i m pretty sure some women would rather go for NS....but tink this is just yet another absurb piece of writing from Talkingcock.com lah...aye...i find it good reading leh...at least they bang beta than william hung...ahahahahaha

Babyless Parents Face Prosecution
by Spring Chicken

Following PAP MP Ong Seh Hong’s suggestions, having babies is now the legal duty of each Singaporean married couple. Under new legislation, married couples who do not have babies will face prosecution, and can be sentenced to death.

This new law was passed in the tiny island of Singapore just last week as a means to aid the problem of a dwindling population in the republic. A projected census showed that at the current rate, if couples have an average of one child each, then the population of Singapore would progress at a rate of -0.5 over the next 20 years. This could result in a drop of 4 million to 2 million people in the country.

This final legal move came as a result of a 10 day debate in parliament within a sub-committee (Singaporean Home Evaluation Board for the Advanced Need for General Sex, or SHEBANGS for short) was set up by the government to address this problem. It was concluded that the only solution to increase population numbers is to make it compulsory for Singaporeans to have sex.

"People might think that we are being overly controlling in passing this law," said head of the SHEBANGS, Mr Bobby Wan Moh Taim, "but drastic problems require drastic measures. Today 4 million, tomorrow 2 million, next year...Singaporeans will be an extinct species."

"Yah, man! I hope der Singkapo peepur dun die out lah. Den, who will come buy all my VCD?" said Mr Hor Li Kua, a privatized roaming entertainment retail outlet manager in Johor Bahru.

Concerns over the possibility of the law backfiring in its purpose has sparked of appeals from locals who were concerned that sentencing couples who did not want to have babies to death might prevent them from having babies in the future. In reply to this apparent loophole in the law, Mr Wan said, "Like all laws, we state the maximum possible sentence. In actual fact, most couple refusing to give birth will be sentenced to jail without parole until intercourse has led to conception. That is, they will be forced to have sex, whether they like it or not."

In line with the anticipated influx of new husband and wife inmates, Changi Prison has set up a new prison wing specifically for them.

"With this new law that couples must have babies or go through capital punishment, we must prepare and be ready to handle the increase in numbers of the prison population," said CPT Ai Laik Pein. "We cannot possibly hang everybody at one shot, so the convicts will have to queue up. Which means they will have to wait somewhere. Which also means we have to built a new prison block to accommodate them."

When asked whether he really expected such a drastic increase in prison population, he replied, "Get real. You are talking about Singapore. People die-die also don't want to have sex! They would rather die! I mean, the government has to resort to such measures, what does that tell you?"

Under the new law, there is possibility for alternative sentence whereby couples who are convicted for not having babies will have to compensate the country by having more babies in prison instead of getting the death sentence.

"That's why this new block will also have a kindergarten and child-care centre to help raise the kids of these convicts," added CPT Ai, "We can't be having children running all over the place in prison, so we'll herd them into these designated places where they will be educated for society. They can even get their PSLE certificate here, along with some of the other inmates."

After some serious stuff being posted for afew days liaos, beta post some jokes to keep this monday sane...Enjoy k

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Ah Beng, Mohammad and Muthu were at sea when they were hijacked by a group of pirates. The pirates cornered the 3 men and said "Give us all your valuables!" The chief pirate then raised a syringe and added, "Or else we'll inject you with the AIDS virus!" Mohammad quickly stripped off all his valuables and handed them to the pirates. Satisfied, they threw him into the sea. Muthu was equally quick to comply with the pirates' wishes. Similarly, he removed his valuables and surrendered them to the pirates.


Like Mohammad, he was thrown into the sea. Finally it came to Ah Beng's turn. He stared at the pirates and sneered. You all kee see lah! (go and die!) Inject, inject lah, you'll never get my lolex and my JPG warret!" The pirates, showing no mercy, injected Ah Beng with the HIV virus, and robbed him of his precious watch and wallet. They then threw him into the sea with the rest. In the water, both Mohammad and Muthu commended Ah Beng for his bravery. However, they were pretty perplexed by why he was unafraid of the virus. Grinning, Ah Beng answered, "AIDS I not scared, what... I got condom!!!"



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During the Japanese Occupation, 3 Singaporeans, Ah Meng, Ah Seng and Ah Beng were caught for smuggling. They were sentenced to death by firing squad. That night, Ah Meng came up with a plan. He told the others that the Japanese were afraid of natural disasters. So he would cause them to panic, and escape in the confusion. The next morning, Ah Meng was led to the wall. The firing squad was lined up and the Captain commanded, "Ready.. Aim..", but before he could complete, Ah Meng shouted, " Earthquake!! Earthquake!" The Japanese soldiers panicked and Ah Meng made his escape.

Later, the soldiers took Ah Seng out and the firing squad were ready. The captain commanded, "Ready... Aim..." This time Ah Seng shouted. "Flood! Flood!!" Again, the Japanese soldiers panicked and this time, Ah Seng made his escape. Observing all this, Ah Beng began to get the idea. "It's important to get the timing right." Soon, it was Ah Beng's turn. "Timing, that's the key.." Ah Beng kept saying to himself. The soldiers lined up in front of him. The captain started, "Ready..." "Timing," Ah Beng thought to himself
"Aim..." "Okay," thought Ah Beng, and shouted, " FIRE!!! FIRE!!! "



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Lance Corporal Ah Beng, Corporal Ahmad and Sergeant Arul were lost in the jungle. It was clear they would have to share responsibilities in order to survive. Sergeant Arul, as the most high-ranking soldier, took charge. "Ah Beng," said Sergeant Arul. "Ahmad and I will race ahead to see if there's any way out. We want you to stay behind here in the camp and take care of supplies for us. Can?" Ah Beng nodded, and Ahmad and Arul set out ahead. "Where's the bugger?" said Sergeant Arul, puzzled when there's no one around when they return. Where upon Ah Beng immediately jumped out of the bushes and
yelled at both of them, "Supplies!" (Surprise!)


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What's the difference between ang-mor and Hokkien fairy tales?

Ang-mor fairy tales begin with: "Once upon a time..."
Hokkien fairy tales begin with: "Lim Peh ka li kong..."



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Dr. Quek made a routine house call to Mr. Lim, one of his elderly patients. He asks, "And how are you doing today, Mr. Lim?" Mr. Lim replies, "I feel just fine, doc. But you know, it's the strangest thing. Every night when I get up to pang jio, the bathroom light

goes on for me automatically when I open the door!" The doctor is worried that the old man is getting senile, so he phones the man's son, and the son's wife answers. The doctor tells her, "Mrs. Lim, I'm a little concerned about your father-in-law. It seems that when he gets up to urinate at night and opens the bathroom door, the light somehow goes on..." At which point, Mrs. Lim yells, "Ah Seng! Ah Pa is peeing in the refrigerator again!"

ermmm..more things on POC...makes me really wonder on all the hype surrounding it....then again, is thi a catholic thing or a christian thingie....or is it a semtic or anti-semitic thingie.....or is it abt the true church of JC....abit tantalising, makes you wanna watch rite....lolx...so must watch k...but i seriously doubt S'pore Censors would spare their snippers on this one...

A TESTIMONY
A True Story by Paul Harvey

You may be surprised to learn whom this young man turned out to be. Years ago a hardworking man took his family from New York State to Australia to take advantage of a work opportunity there.

Part of this man's family was a handsome young son who had aspirations of joining the circus as a trapeze artist or an actor. This young fellow, biding his time until a circus job or even one as a stagehand came along, worked at the local shipyards which bordered on the worst section of town. Walking home from work one evening this young man was attacked by five thieves who wanted to rob him. Instead of just giving up his money the young fellow resisted. Unfortunately they 'bested him' easily and proceeded to beat him to a pulp.

They mashed his face with their boots and kicked and beat his body brutally with clubs, leaving him for dead. When the police found him lying in the rd they assumed he was dead and called for the Morgue Wagon. On the way to the morgue a policeman heard him gasp for air. They immediately took him to the emergency unit at the hospital. When he was placed on a gurney a nurse remarked, to her horror, that this young man no longer had a face.

Each eye socket was smashed, his skull, legs, and arms fractured, his nose literally
hanging from his face, alll his teeth were gone, and his jaw was almost completely torn from his skull.

Although his life was spared he spent over a year in the hospital. When he finally left, his body may have healed but his face was 'disgusting' to look at. He was no longer the handsome youth whom everyone admired. When the young man started to look for work again he was turned down by everyone just on account of the way he looked.

One potential employer suggested to him that he join the freak show at the circus as
The Man Who Had No Face. And he did this for a while. He was still rejected by everyone and no one wanted to be seen in his company. He had thoughts of suicide.

This went on for five years ('Oh, can you imagine his despair?') One day he passed a church and sought some solace there. Entering the church he encountered a priest who had seen him sobbing while kneeling in a pew. The priest took pity on him and took him to the rectory where they talked at length. The priest was impressed with him to such a degree that he said that he would do everything possible for him that could be done to restore his dignity and life, if the young man would promise to be the best Catholic he could be and trust in God's mercy to free himfrom his torturous life.

The young man went to mass and communion every day, and after thanking God for saving his life, asked God to give him peace of mind and the grace to be the best man he could ever be in His eyes. The priest, through his personal contacts, was able to secure the services of the best plastic surgeon in Australia. There would be no cost to the young man, as the doctor was the priest's best friend. The doctor too was so impressed by the young man, whose outlook now on life, even though he had experienced the worst, was filled with good humor and love. The surgery
was a miraculous success. All the best dental work was also done for him.

The young man became everything he promised God he would be. He was also blessed with a wonderful, beautiful wife, and many children, and success in an industry which would have been the furthest thing from his mind as a career if not for the goodness of God and the love of the people who cared for him.

This he acknowledges publicly. Who was this man? Mel Gibson. His life was the inspiration for his production of the movie "The Man Without A Face". He is to be admired by all of us as a God fearing man, a political conservative, and an example to all survivor and a true man of courage. And to think I admired him before I knew any of this! He is quite a man! - Paul Harvey

"The Passion of the Christ", produced and funded by Mel Gibson was released into theatres on February 25th, Ash Wednesday. This movie on the final 12 hours of Christ's life is based on the Bible and is a TRUE accounting according to God's Word from Jesus' close friend and disciple. Billy Graham calls it the most important movie ever..... Please pray for Mel Gibson, his family and anyone associated with this life-changing film. He has been receiving many death threats.

While the movie was being filmed on location, there were those who accepted Christ as their Savior. Mel Gibson shared this information when he recently visited Saddleback Church in Irvine.

Please note that the movie is rated 'R' due to the violence that Jesus actually suffered. It was not the Jews who were ultimately responsible for Jesus' horrible, sad, heart-wrenching death; it was my and your sin. "What the enemy meant for evil (to kill/destroy Mel Gibson when he was a young man), GOD turned into GOOD!' as He always does when we seek Him and when we make Him Lord of our lives as
Mel Gibson has.

A water bearer in China had two large pots, each hung on the ends of a pole which he carried across his neck. One pot had a crack in it, while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water. At the end of the long walk from the stream to the house, the cracked pot arrived only half full.

For a full two years this went on daily, with the bearer delivering only one and a half pots full of water to his house. Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments, perfect for which it was made. But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it was able to accomplish only half of what it had been made to do.

After 2 years of what it perceived to be a bitter failure, it spoke to the
water bearer one day by the stream...

"I am ashamed of myself, because this crack in my side causes water to leak
out all the way back to your house."

The bearer said to the pot, "Did you notice that there were flowers only on
your side of the path, but not on the other pot's side?

That's because I have always known about your flaw, and I planted flower
seeds on your side of the path.

Every day while we walk back, you've watered them. For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate the table. Without you being just the way you are, there would not be this beauty to grace the house."

Moral:
Each of us has our own unique flaws. We're all cracked pots.

But it's the cracks and flaws we each have that make our lives together so very interesting and rewarding. You've just got to take each person for what they are, and look for the good in them.


Blessings to all my crackpot friends, your flaws are always valuable.