WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD? 2005

This being the Year of the Rooster, we polled some important people for their views on that age-old conundrum: WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

GEORGE W. BUSH
To search for Weapons of Mass Destruction.

BILL GATES
To buy a copy of Microsoft’s latest release: Chicken XP, which not only crosses roads, but lays eggs, makes omelettes and fries itself. Oh, and it can also download media files off the Internet.

THE ECONOMIC DEVELOPMENT BOARD
The chicken crossed over to learn about how Singapore is a plug and play business infrastructure that is made increasingly easy and efficient thanks to its growing number of Free Trade Agreements and a government that is extremely responsive to the private sector. The global chicken sector will be especially interested to learn how Singapore is positioning itself as a regional poultry hub with its new business park, ‘Chickenopolis’.

SIMON COWELL
Well, I’m not surprised it did after its performance. I’m sorry, but it was so horrible, it should stay on the other side.

DR. CHEE SOON JUAN
It had to make a living somehow, and due to political discrimination, just couldn’t get a decent job if it stayed on that side of the road.

WARDEN, ABU GHRAIB PRISON, IRAQ
Let me strip the chicken, tie electrical wire to its feathers and put a bag over its head and maybe it’ll tell us.

SINGTEL
It made an honest mistake.

TAUFIK BATISAH
To avoid having to make a horrible music video.

THE REMAKING SINGAPORE COMMITTEE
We will convene several sub-committees and submit a report to you in a year.

SINGAPORE POOLS
Bet you it’ll cross back.

SENIOR MINISTER GOH CHOK TONG
It’s a quitter.

COLONEL SANDERS
I missed one, meh?


COMMISSIONER, TRAFFIC POLICE
We are still investigating why didn’t it use the overhead bridge like it should have.

SIGMUND FREUD
The fact that you are at all concerned about chickens crossing the road suggests you havedeep underlying sexual insecurities.

MOSES LIM
(Burp!) What chicken? Where got chicken?

THE P.A.P.
To reach out to the younger generation of chicks and involve them in the preservation of our nest egg.

THE MINISTRY OF HEALTH
To escape the bird flu, lah! Arbuthen?



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