sianz.. life is sumtimes such a drag.. well.. never let it get us too down.. we sill have many more things to look forward to..
this mornin i received a call from the hospital again.. informin me of my dad's condition.. sighh.. also dunno wat to make of it.. wat makes us a fillial or unfillial son.. i dunno.. all i know is i rather he stays in there and get all the medical attention he can get..
Itz very interesting to be branded as unfillial by ur very own siblings.. it starts your mind rollin.. *Play "Rollin Rollin"*.. then it starts to question you.. then u start to defend ur actions.. the very things u've been doing.. i sometimes feel so drained after these kind of family sessions..
Excuses like 'I got family & kids to feed' 'i dun earn enuff' 'i have to take care of my other family'.. Dang.. so..
i do not know wat is this turmoil within me.. it is stirrin from within lor.. stirrin to make me angry, frustrated & petty.. but i know i m above it.. i know i cna handle it.. just how well and how long, thatz the question..
Recently thot of her again.. i know itz pretty pointlesss to tink of her at this point but i guess this is me.. i knmow my life will never be the same ever again since the day she left my life.. some of u might even say itz stoopid of me to tink of her again.. espcially after all that heartache she caused.. but i guess i lost to her totally.. i was defeated..
** Dunno wat else to blog liaos.. blog later bah.. now go for lunch first.. havin a bad headache today..
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