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You've finally reached.. This got Sydney laughing. Read it and you'll see why!

Just imagine sitting in traffic on your way to work and hearing this. Many Sydney folks DID hear this on the FOX FM morning show in Sydney. The DJs play a game where they award winners great prizes. The game is called "Mate Match". The DJs call someone at work and ask if they are married or seriously involved with someone. If the contestant answers "yes", he or she is then asked 3 random yet highly personal questions.

The person is also asked to divulge the name of their partner (with phone number) for verification. If their partner answers those same three questions correctly, they both win the prize.

One particular game, however, several months ago made the Harbour City drop to its knees with laughter and is possibly the funniest thing you've heard yet.


Anyway, here's how it all went down:

DJ: "Hey! This is Ed on FOX-FM. Have you ever heard of 'Mate Match'?"

Contestant: (laughing) "Yes, I have."
DJ: "Great! Then you know we're giving away a trip to the Gold Coast
if you win. What is your name? First only please."

Contestant: "Brian."
DJ: "Brian, are you married or what?"
Brian: (laughing nervously) "Yes, I am married."
DJ: "Thank you. Now, what is your wife's name? First only please."
Brian: "Sara."
DJ: "Is Sara at work, Brian?"
Brian: "She is gonna kill me."
DJ: "Stay with me here, Brian! Is she at work?"
Brian: (laughing) "Yes, she's at work."
DJ: "Okay, first question - when was the last time you had sex?"
Brian: "About 8 o'clock this morning."
DJ: "Atta boy, Brian."
Brian: (laughing sheepishly) "Well..."
DJ: "Question #2 - How long did it last?"
Brian: "About 10 minutes."
DJ: "Wow! You really want that trip, huh? No one would ever have said
that if a trip wasn't at stake."
Brian: "Yeah, that trip sure would be nice."
DJ: "Okay. Final question. Where did you have sex at 8 o'clock this
morning?
Brian: (laughing hard) "I, ummm, I, well..."
DJ: "This sounds good, Brian. Where was it at?"
Brian: "Not that it was all that great, but her mum is staying with us
for a couple of weeks..."
DJ: "Uh huh..."
Brian: "...and the Mother-In-Law was in the shower at the time."
DJ: "Atta boy, Brian."
Brian: "On the kitchen table."
DJ: "Not that great?? That is more adventure than the previous hundred
times I've done it. Okay folks, I will put Brian on hold, get this
wife's work number and call her up. You listen to this."

[ 3 minutes of commercials follow. ]

DJ: "Okay audience; let's call Sarah, shall we?" (Touch
tones.....ringing....)
Clerk: "Kinkos."
DJ: "Hey, is Sarah around there somewhere?"
Clerk: "This is she."
DJ: "Sarah, this is Ed with FOX-FM. We are live on the air right now
and I've been talking with Brian for a couple of hours now."
Sarah: (laughing) "A couple of hours?"
DJ: "Well, a while now. He is on the line with us. Brian knows not to
give any\answers away or you'll lose. Sooooooo... do you know the
rules of 'Mate Match'?"
Sarah: "No."
DJ: "Good!"
Brian: (laughing)
Sarah: (laughing) "Brian, what the hell are you up to?"
Brian: (laughing) "Just answer his questions honestly, okay? Be
completely honest."
DJ: "Yeah yeah yeah. Sure. Now, I will ask you 3 questions, Sarah.
If your answers match Brian's answers, then the both of you will be
off to the Gold Coast for 5 days on us.
Sarah: (laughing) "Yes."
DJ: "Alright. When did you last have sex, Sarah?"
Sarah: "Oh God, Brian....uh, this morning before Brian went to work."
DJ: "What time?"
Sarah: "Around 8 this morning."
DJ: "Very good. Next question. How long did it last?"
Sarah: "12, 15 minutes maybe."
DJ: "Hmmmm. That's close enough. I am sure she is trying to protect
his manhood. We've got one last question, Sarah. You are one question
away from a trip to the Gold Coast. Are you ready?"
Sarah: (laughing) "Yes."
DJ: "Where did you have it?"
Sarah: "OH MY GOD, BRIAN!! You didn't tell them that did you?"
Brian: "Just tell him, honey."
DJ: "What is bothering you so much, Sarah?"
Sarah: "Well..."
DJ: Come on Sarah.....where did you have it?
Sarah: "Up the arse....."
After a long pause, the DJ said, "Folks, we need to take a station break"

And the drivers of Sydney almost crashed their cars laughing!

Marriage Woes

Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady and after the wedding, he laid down the following rules:

"I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want and I don't expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on table unless I tell you that I won't be home for dinner. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing and card-playing when I
want with my old buddies and don't you give me a hard time about it.

Those are my rules. Any comments?

His new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there will be sex here at seven o'clock every night .......... whether you're here or not."

(DAMM SHE'S GOOD!)

************************************

Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary! The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads: "Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever "

"Yeah?" she replies. "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads:
"Here Lies My Husband Stiff At Last"

(WELL.. HE ASKED FOR IT! )


******************************************

A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement. He is so proud of himself, that he starts calling his wife, "Mother of Six" in spite of her objections.

One night, they go to a party. The man decides that it's time to go home and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well.

He shouts at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home 'Mother of Six?'

His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion, shouts right back, "Anytime you're ready, Father of Four."

(RIGHT ON, LADY! )

**************************************

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would find it.

The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and
he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.. The paper said,

"It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests. God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.

Monday & Tuesday were my off days.. off coz i worked from 12noon till 9pm for the last 2 weeks and for the last 3 days leadin to end of June, I worked till 2am...

Some might say the work is tough.. well considerin i have been thru worst when i was helping to run the Travel agency... i tink this job at least compensates the time and money factor very well lor.. at least my boss is very understanding and allows us to come in late and take off days... well enuf fof work..

Monday.. i slept till 2.30pm then i woke up..Actually supposed to catch a movie with Fey & Lester but apparently one was sleeping and the ohter was... well.. thne we decided to catch it another time lor.. then i went to have lunch with a long time fren, kenneth to catch up on life and everything else.. apparently his outlook on life seems pretty bleak lah.. will want to spend more time with this dear brother of mine and hope to help him... at least recover his 5k... Evening i went over to tanjong pagar to meet up with Ah Long.. was a great time of talking and sharing... i really enjoy talkin to this brother coz he is a good listener.. Then we finished up ard 10pm.. i went to meet some biz associates... to discuss some stuff.. Wah lau..fnish everythign chop chop within 30mins.. i wanna go home and sleep liaos.. another long day tomolo.. but then hor.. the freakin whole tanjong pagar area macham like ghost zone.. no cabs and no calls cna get thru to the taxi companies... kaozzz... in the end, i had to call sum1 to drive down and send me home.. hee~.. we even managed to have Katong Nasi lemak b4 we went home.. so nice... slept at abt 3am

Tues... slept till 2pm... woke up for a sip water, chatted for 10mins on msn..went back to bed...slept till 7pm... washed up... hunted for food.. raided my fridge.. in the end , had to cook some eggs with ham and sausages for dinner... watch serials from 8pm till 10pm... then struggled to finish my DVDs.. i lost the fight at 1130pm.. and fell asleep..

Sighhhh.. wat a way to burn my off days...

Today's a slack day in office... Symantec servers are down.. Hence nothing to do..

So spent the day visitng blogs, updating my world cup analysis, then had a long lunch.. now is to blog.. hahaha.. quite alot of happenings lately lor.. but seems like more is to come.. abit vague.. Hope everything will turn out great nonetheless..

i saw this quote today
Ernest Hemingway - "Courage is grace under pressure."

Alot of thots come flooding to my mind as i see it again..

His grace is great enough to meet the greatest things in Life;
-- the crashing waves that overwhelm us daily,
-- the roaring winds that leave us stunned and breathless each time,
-- the sudden storms that raged beyond our control.

His grace is great enough to meet the smallest things in Life;
-- the tiny insy pin-prick troubles that annoys us,
-- the niggly worries, constant buzzing and persistant,
-- the squeaking wheels that grate upon our joy.

**************************************************************

On a separate note, one of my prayers recently was on grace.

I asked God. Wat is Grace

And He said, “All that happens.”

Then He added, when I looked perplexed,
“Could not lovers say that every moment in their Beloved’s arms is grace?"