Overheard on the bus.... "I gave her everything," he complained. "I spent a month's allowance on a giant autographed poster of Blue, a Me to You bear and a pair of tix to MUSE's concert. I've been waiting for her so long, but all she did was thank me and then in the next breath, invite some other guy to watch the concert with her!"

He took a deep breath, then sighed resignedly. "I don't know what else she wants. Haven't I made my feelings clear? There's just no pleasing females-" he shot an apologetic glance at the lady standing within earshot, and went on - "Nice guys always finish last." He muttered petulantly.

I nodded sympathetically as I considered the truth of his last sentence. I understood all too well the problem, or at least, well enough for a 30 yr old.

Let's lay the cards on the table. Nice guys do finish last. A number of guys I know have, at one time or another, sworn to become a monk because of a string of consecutive rejections which, of course, was too big a blow for their fragile egos.

The burning question in their minds, as they stare with huge, sad eyes and their lower lip trembling in hurt, is why?

The first, and often very accurate fact is that it is not the guy's niceness in itself that is unattractive to girls. It's the limit of niceness. Far too many guys are under the misconception that the nicer they are to a girl, the more the girl will like them. This is true, of course, but to a certain extent. The nice guy usually ends up eagerly offering favours to the girl, putting off his own needs to ensure that the girl is happy. This includes squandering a mind-blowing amount of cash to swamp the girl with material things(ED: this sure reminds us of our best fren), offering to complete her 6-month project, skipping his dinner to fix her choked toiletbowl so that she can go out on her hot date, etc. Her wish is the guy's mission in life, and he will never learn to say no to her. The girl, of course, will be appreciative, but more often than not she doesn't automatically fall at the guy's feet in undisguised adoration (which, of course, is exactly what the guy is hoping for).

There can only be 3 outcomes, really.

1) The girl notices that the nice guy is very sweet and starts noticing him. She shyly offers herself to him and they get married in a meadow with scattered flower petals everywhere and little birds and rabbits scampering about. They eventually have two perfect blond-haired, blue-eyed children, and they will adopt Bambi as a pet.

2) The girl notices that the nice guy is very sweet and labels him as 'reliable friend'. She will now not risk anything to lose this gem as someone who will go out his way to help her.

3) The girl notices that the nice guy is very sweet and starts to suspect that he likes her. When her suspicions are confirmed, she tries to let the nice guy down politely because she doesn't want to hurt such a nice guy. She makes up all sorts of excuses, including having a boyfriend, having not gotten over an ex-boyfriend, having feelings for someone else, needing to concentrate on her studies/career, being a lesbian, etc.

The second and third outcome are the most likely. In case of the second outcome, the guy will forever be wasting more and more of his effort in trying to impress the girl. Needless to say, all that he'd get in return would be frustration, anger, heartbreak and depression, all of which will boil down to heavy self-inflicted suffering; all because he'd been expecting the first outcome from the start. The guy unfairly expects unrealistic reactions from the girl and in doing so, sets himself up for a healthy dose of disappointment. He either ends up resenting and blaming the girl, watching soap operas and bawling his eyes out, deciding to 'target' another girl and being promptly rejected again, committing suicide, or all of the above.

In case of the third outcome, the nice guy decides to wait. Always a disastrous decision. The guileless guy thinks that the girl will admire his patience and thus fall madly in love with him. (Madly being the operative word.) The girl, however, may have a range of reactions; from simply igoring the guy, to being so irritated that she finally bashes the guy's head in with his bouquet of 5121314 spring flowers, all the while howling in violent fury.

In case of the first outcome, the guy wakes up with a start and realizes sadly that he is still single and hasn't gotten laid in 87 months. He pops on his newest Marie Ozawa video and resigns himself to a fate of unrealistic dreams.

..and if you are a nice guy and after reading this (the first outcome), still cling stubbornly onto your illusions (of the first outcome actually being reality), please; do the world a favour, go jump onto the MRT tracks.

The second fact is that nice guys are usually the most suffocating. He will always be around, lingering close, and never too far away so that he can do the girl's every single bidding. The girl will be under an impression that the guy is a sad loser and does not have a life of his own. Often the nice guy refrains from dating because he thinks that if the girl sees him with another girl, she will assume that he is attached and drop any feelings (if any) for him. This is probably true for some girls, but what he doesn't know is that the more dates he has, the more the girl will wonder why he is so attractive - and want to find out for herself. And besides, a man in control of his own life is always attractive.

The third fact is that the nice guy often makes the mistake of sitting back. He thinks that by gaining the girl's trust, he will be bonded to her. Which is true, only that the bond will only be of friendship, because by the time the girl realizes the guy's feelings for her, she's already happily attached. The guy then decides to wait, which leads to outcome #3 (see above).

..all strictly my point of view, of course, and I realise that there are people out there who beg to differ. But for every classic nice guy you show me who's happily attached to a great girl, I'll show you another 3 classic nice guys watching the soaps and composing sappy poems of unrequited love.

Just my 2cents worth on the nice guy finishin last theory....