Understanding Women

I realised that many men and women have this problem. Communicating. So today i shall attempt to bridge that and allow my readers(if any) to effectively understand wat a woman is trying to say/insinuate/express.


1. Fine:
This is the word all women use to end an argument when they(in their biased opinion) are right and you need to shut up and the next 3 words outta your mouth ought to be “I’m sorry”

Quik Fix: Hug her, mutter “But I love you”

2. Five Minutes:
If she is getting dressed and shouts out, “5mins”, this technically means half an hour. Why ?

Let me attempt to breakdown the 5mins
5mins to find that top
5mins to find that jeans
5mins to stand in front of mirror
5mins to change the top coz it doesn’t go with the jeans
5mins to put on makeup etc
5mins to make sure the parts to be seen are visible and the parts that are not, are concealed.

And you tink its only 30mins… Haha.. Dude, you’re soooo wrong….

5 mins to find that pair of shoes to fit the outfit
5 mins to pack her bag for the day
5 mins to touch up the face.

There you have it.. when a woman says 5mins, you can watch one half of an EPL.

Quik Fix: I’m sorry.. only a time machine can help you out on this… (ED: but we’re only on the second point lor…..)

3. Nothing:
This is the calm before the storm. This usually means something, and you should be on your toes. Conversations that ended with nothing usually ends up as arguments ending up “fine”.[See point 1]

Quik Fix: divert her attention to shopping/movies/dinner.. let her select her choices.. remember.. die die also must let her have her way… otherwise it’s a one way ticket to “Fine”

4. Go Ahead:
Normally this answer is not an answer. This is an equivalent of a “Watchu staring at” shouted across the hallway by a chain-smoking heavily tattooed ah beng with golden hair.

Remember this is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

Quik Fix: Cuddle abit.. then say u got a surprise for her.. then slip out and get her fave flowers.. and remember… to be back on time….

5. Loud Sigh:
This is the cheem-est thing a woman can ever mutter…. This is actually a word *cues the Ooohs & Aahhhhhhs* but is actually a non-verbal kinda statement which is often misunderstood by men.

A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)

Quik Fix: Fix her dinner.. send her home.. say the 3 magic words… (Generally it works.. but dependent on how major is the issue at hand here)

6. That's Okay:
This is the alarm bell type of statements. The warning signs. The pre-birth pains.

This belongs to one of the most dangerous statements a woman can ever make to a man. "That's okay" means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your terrible mistake.

Quik Fix: Marry her.. propose..
(ED: but hor, like this isn’t it payin for my mistake.. and using a lifetime to pay it too…*scratch head* )
(to ED: Read my disclaimer)

7. Thanks:
A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome.
Quik Fix: Nothing’s broken, dun touch it….

8. Whatever:
She’s not asking for a drink ok…. This is a woman’s way of saying, F@!K YOU! And you get living room duties for at least 3 nites.

9. Don't worry about it, I got it:
Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking "What's wrong?"

For the woman's response refer to #3.



Disclaimer:
i claim all credit if the woman is happy and the man get his way.
i am not liable for any forms of claim and/or compensation for any forms of natural and/or induced and/or inflicted stress and/or bruises and/or pain due to my above post.