原來這裡沒有你

A whirlwind of 5 days.

Seeing all the old and familiar faces arriving,

Some of them with flushed faces,
Some of them with lines clearly across the faces.

Yet i see them all mourning your loss.

The Taoist priest went off in hakka about your story,
as though he knew you personally.

He spoke of your youth and your struggles.
He spoke of your pain and your joys.

Second morning I see 3yr old Iggy crying and asking for his ah gong to bring him out for a walk.
An older 5yr old Xingyan went to him and pat him on his shoulders,
proclaiming that "Ah Gong sit aeroplane liaos"

Was that supposed to be comic relief or relief that we dun have to explain death to a couple of tots.

i dunno... all i heard in the background were muffled sobbing and weeping.

My Godma told me this,

"How do you feel? Do you know he's gone? Forever? We will never get to see him anymore again."

My heart took a hit then.

She carried on,

"I dunno how i gonna wake up without him by my side."
"If only... .... ..."

I lost myself there.

The nights were long... People were generally talking about everything except him.

I had the privilege of staying up for the nights.

On the last night, me and 3 other brothers decide to play mahjong to while away time and to keep awake..

My Second Brother said this,

"He would never allow us to play mahjong so late one;
why dun we sit away from his altar."

All has been said and done in this another chapter of my life.

July has indeed been a bad month for me.

I lost 2 Fathers in the space of 1 year.