December 23, 2008

Christmas Card Writing Tips.

For those who want to lose a friend or two during this Holiday.

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
I always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love.
And now that you’ve come into my life…
I’ve changed my mind.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
I must admit, you brought religion into my life…
- I never believed in Hell until I met you.
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As the days go by, I think how lucky I am….
That you’re not here to ruin it for me .
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Congratulations on your promotion. Before you go….
Will you take the knife from my back? You’ll probably need it again.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Happy Birthday! You look great for your age….
Almost lifelike!
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
When we were together, you said you’d die for me…
- Now we’ve broken up, I think it’s time to keep your promise.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Congratulations on your new bundle of joy….
- Did you ever find out who the father was?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
You are such a good friend. If we were on a sinking ship and there was only one life jacket…
- I’d miss you terribly and think of you often.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Your friends and I wanted to do something special for your birthday…
So we’re having you put to sleep.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Looking back over the years that we have been together, I can’t help but wonder…..
What the hell was I thinking
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*|
I’m so miserable without you…
It’s almost like you’re still here.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Thank you for being part of my life….
I never knew what evil was until I met you!
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Congratulations on your wedding day!…
Too bad no one likes your husband.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
How can I say this….
Your cooking kills me
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Hooray…..
- You’re divorced.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
I just want you to know that I’m sorry for what happened…
- Especially since you survived.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Congrats on getting married…
It’s not everyday you decide to ruin your life.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Someday I hope to marry…
Someone other than you.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
We have been friends for a very long time…
What do you say we stop?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

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