Trust me...below message is rated R(21)
DISCLAIMER
I AM NOT ENCOURAGING ALL TO READ THE BELOW MESSAGE. ESPECIALLY THSOE WHO ARE OFFENDED BY STRONG USAGE OF FLOWERY LANGUAGE.SO PLS DUN READ THIS K
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Taiwanese Foreign Minister Mark Chen Tan Sun has apologized for any offence caused by his recent snotty remarks, but has defended his claim that Singapore is the size of a piece of dried nasal mucus.
Yesterday, Singapore’s Ministry of Foreign Affairs issued an angry statement saying that “Singapore has a total land area of 636 square kilometres. It is a complete falsehood that it is the size of a mere nose booger. We call upon the Taiwanese Minister to correct this gross misrepresentation.”
However, Minister Chen Tan Sun has refused to do so, saying that his description was completely accurate, and based on empirical data.Mr. Chen said that he conducted the experiment last week while sitting in his office waiting for his lunch to be delivered. He said he had ordered smelly tofu, a Taiwanese delicacy, and had wanted to clear his nasal passages in order to appreciate the tofu better.“So I went to orh my pee sai,” he told a news conference in Hokkien. “And when I finished digging, wah lan eh, it was a really juicy piece. I thought of wiping it under my table as usual, but aiyah, it was already crusted over with plenty of earlier specimens. Then I saw the world map on my wall and thought… boh her hae mah ho.”Minister Chen then described how with a quick swipe of his finger, he planted the booger right at the southern tip of Malaysia.“My pee sai covered Singapore exactly,” said Minister Chen. “So I think my size comparison is pretty choon-choon.”
However, Minister Chen said he was willing to make a gesture of conciliation towards Singapore by eating his words – literally – before the gathered reporters, but most of the journalists declined, some making retching sounds.
Meanwhile, Taiwanese President Chen Shui Bian has said that Singapore should not take offence at having its size compared to a booger. “It’s a perfectly natural comparison when you realize the size of Chen Tan Sun’s nose. I mean it’s f*****g huge, wah boh pian li eh. Why, just yesterday, he sneezed and China accused us of conducting missile tests.”
Meanwhile, Singapore’s Foreign Ministry is busy drafting a suitable rebuttal to Mr. Chen’s accusation that Singapore was trying to “por” China’s “lum par” (being sycophantic by carrying China’s testicles).
Said MFA spokesperson Mr. Mohd Angkat bin Bodek, “We want Mr. Chen to fully appreciate our feelings on the matter, so we’re having it translated it into Hokkien for his edification.”
After rooting around in the rubbish bins outside MFA HQ, TalkingCock managed to find an early draft of this message, which reads as follows:“Na beh, you Taiwan lang better don’t so sia lan (SL) say we por Tiong Kok eh lum par (LP)! Skarly we become too lan (TL), then we kum lan (KL) with you, and make you lan lan (LL), then you know what is lum par pah lan (LPPL)!”©
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