January 12, 2005

Well was on the phone with her 2 nites ago or rather early yesterday morning... haven talked to her in for a long long while...Not seen her for 22 days & counting ; Not heard her lovely voice for 4 days to be exact...

She sounded great as usual but kinda distant.. I decided to cut the chase and get to the point I asked her watz happening? She said it's matter of perspective and i just got too heavily involved emotionally and now both of us r heart-broken (obviously i suffer more). Everytime i talk to her she sounds so happie.. i think the problem's with me.. maybe there's sum1 much more caring and understanding than me.. maybe there's sum1 more good looking.. maybe there's sum1 more thoughtful.. the more maybe-s i come up with, the more loser i feel.. seriously...

I'm going thru a rough patch now trying to ease the pain but apparently with no success.. and in between, i just cant get myself to like someone else anymore..I just cannot say stop and forget her and move on... You tell me how do u stop loving sum1 whom u poured out unconditionally in everyway imagined...how do u stop cause everytime i tink of her, all the memories just keep rushing back like a tsunami..

There has to be a stop somewhere..

Maybe I’m just plain dumb and stoopid

Maybe dying is a way of stopping this intolerable suffering

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