This is funny taken off an email from how joo...
1. Marriage is not a word. It's a sentence (a life sentence).
2. Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore marriage is an institution for
3. Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor's Degree
and the woman gets her masters.
4. Marriage is a three-ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring and suffering.
5. Married life is full of excitement and frustration: In the first year of
marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman
speaks and the man listens.In the third year, they both speak and the NEIGHBOUR
6. Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends.You
order what you want, and when you see what the other person has, you wish you
had ordered that instead.
7. There was this man who muttered a few words in the church and found himself
married. A year later he muttered something in his sleep and found
8. A happy marriage is a matter of giving and taking; the husband gives and the
9. Son: How much does it cost to get married, Dad?
Father: I don't know son, I'm still paying for it.
10. Son: Is it true Dad? I heard that in ancient China, a man doesn't know his
wife until he marries her.
Father: That happens everywhere, son, EVERYWHERE!
11. Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.
12. They say that when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, it is love;
after marriage it is self-defense.
13. When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a
10-year married man looks happy, we wonder why.
14. There was this lover who said that he would go through hell for her.
They got married, and now he is going through HELL.
16. When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him
17. Eighty percent of married men cheat in America, the rest cheat in Europe.
18. After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin. They
just can't face each other, but they still stay together.
19. Marriage is man and a woman become one. The trouble starts when
they try to decide which one.
20. Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After the
marriage becomes silent.
21. I married Miss right; I just didn't know her first name was Always.
22. It's not true that married men live longer than single men, it only seems
23. Losing a wife can be hard. In my case, it was almost impossible.
24. A man was complaining to a friend: I HAD IT ALL-MONEY, A BEAUTIFUL
>HOUSE, THE LOVE OF A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN, THEN POW! IT WAS ALL GONE.
WHAT HAPPENED, asked his friend. He says MY WIFE FOUND OUT.
25. WIFE: Let's go out and have some fun tonight. HUSBAND: OK, but
if you get home before I do, leave the hallway lighs on.
26. At a cocktail party, one woman said to another: AREN'T YOU WEARING
YOUR RING ON THE WRONG FINGER? The other replied, YES, I, AM. I MARRIED THE
27. Man is incomplete until he gets married, then he is finished.
28. It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up
with the same boss.
29. A man inserted an ad in the paper - WIFE WANTED. The next day he received a
hundred of letters and they all said the same thing - YOU CAN HAVE MINE.
30. When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one
thing - either the car is new or the wife is.