September 13, 2005

hmmm.... i am tired.. really.. mentally & physically.. perhaps thatz why i no longer log on at home... i no longer blog as frequently... i am like havign a hiatus over nohting... hahaha.. did i gain nirvana... hahah.. nay..

suddenly the time seems like freezin over.. fighting with morpheus a lot these few days, it seems like not even a whole day's sleep is enuff lor..

Farni how it drains me physically & mentally.. i'm starting to wonder if i'm living in a real world or some crappy realm..

kekeke that's quite crappy

I tink my biggest problem now is dat i don't really trust anyone... any human being lor.. Ha ha... I tink i start to dis-trust myself too..

the whole situation starts to seems very unbelievable.

People have had and will fail me, as how i will fail them too.

But trust is the most basic element in all relationship with men(women included..) but i really tink that i have lost it over my years in this realistic and materialistic world.. i've seen pple changed and throw wind to their so called christian values & attitudes whom i hold in high regard.. this makes me sad.. sometimes i feel that one less me won't make any diff.. i am indeed disturbed.. in my heart i guess.. but who am i to judge or make remarks.. though i made a few..

It's really hard lor..but i do trust God.. Trust in Him to see me thru this difficult time of my life... Trust Him to help those who r lost ... who have left the race..who have slowed down... who have stood at the sidelines... i really hope to achieve certain things in my life right now.. but i do not know of it as a want or need..

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