Are You Over Your Ex?

Letting go of an old relationship and getting truly over it can be one of the hughest challenge that life has to offer.
Only time, forgiveness and soul-searching can help you to move on and put the pain behind you.

But somehow as the days weeks months and years that seem to have passed, part of you may still be hanging onto your ex or the memories of the relationship. You may still want to get back together after all this while or you may find yourself consumed with rage when you remember the abominable way you were treated. Oftentimes, feelings of longing for your ex manifests themselves in subtle ways that affect your daily life in more ways than you may realize.

So how do you know if you’re truly over your ex? Read on to find out.

What Happens When You Visit Your Old Haunts?
There may be places all over your town that remind you of your former lover. For example, if you and your ex loved to spend Saturday nites at coffee club outside California gym, you may think of her every time you walk by. Or, if your first kiss was at that lift in that particular place, you may think nostalgically about the relationship every time you take a ride in the lift.

Thinking about your ex occasionally isn’t necessarily bad. After all, if you really loved someone then you can’t just expect to erase him completely from your memory.

If you ever pause to fondly remember the love you shared with that person and then proceed to enjoy your day, chances are that you’ve moved on. But where got so easy to let go lor~..

If you stop to remember your ex and experience overwhelming sadness, depression and an ache in your heart, then you probably need more time to come to terms with the end of the relationship. Yes, the end of the relationship. But it doesnt really signifies the end of the road for you. It is just the turning of into yet another road , a new one where you will have to drive alone.

How Often Do You Think About Him/Her?
It’s normal to think of your ex when you visit your old haunts or when he/she comes up in conversation. But do you think of him/her at random times when you should be focused on something else? Let’s say you’re shopping for a birthday present for a friend. If everytime you walk into a store you think, “That shirt would look good on him/her,” or “I bet he/she would love to play that game,” then you may be trapped in an unhealthy pattern.

Do you think about what your ex is doing while you’re at the grocery store, library, in a meeting at work, or when you’re exercising? Worst still, is thinking about your former lover all the time interfering with your ability to perform daily functions or preventing you from developing a new relationship?

It’s perfectly normal to think about your ex 24/7 after you’ve first broken up in the first few days or weeks, but if several months have passed and every little thing still reminds you of your relationship, then you probably haven’t moved on. And something needs to be done lor~.. and quick..before you ki-seow

Schemes to Get Back Together
Do you plan elaborate schemes that will help you get back together with your ex? Maybe you blow hundreds of dollars on an outfit by a designer you know he/she loves, or maybe you set fire to your own house so he/she’ll come save you (OK, we’re stretching it alittle).

Even if you’re not actively trying to win him back, do you fantasize about him/her falling back in love with you and getting back together?

If this sounds like you, chances are you’re having trouble accepting that the relationship is over and past. Of course you will still miss your ex at times, but it’s important to stop yourself from obsessing about getting back together.

If you ever hope to move on with your life, you first need to come to terms with the fact that the relationship is actually over. It’s OK if you miss your ex and want to see or even impress him/her occasionally. But if you show up “coincidentally” at all the same places as your former flame in an attempt to flirt and restore the relationship or if you run to the phone when it rings because you think she might be calling to get back together, S-T-O-P.

Avoid unhappiness and depression by getting rid of your false hope.

Revenge
Let’s say that you don’t want to get back together with your ex. Are you unable to say his/her name in a sentence without using the words “cheating,” “slimy,” "biatch," "arsehole," “no-good,” or “scumbag”? Instead of scheming to make him/her fall in love with you again, are you plotting revenge? Acts of revenge range from sending him/her a dead fish in the mail to slashing his/her car tires. You’re justified if you feel angry and upset over a breakup, but if you feed your desire for revenge, your rage will consume you. The next time you find yourself plotting to ruin your former lover’s career or any other aspect of his/her life, stop yourself.

Call a friend, read a book or write a poem. You are too good to seek revenge on someone who treated you badly.

What is Your Life Like Now?

Do you stumble out of bed at noon, turn on the TV and spend the day in your pajamas? Or, do you spend hours on Google, looking for information about your ex in the hopes that you find something incriminating? If you spend your whole day moping or wallowing in sadness or anger, you’re setting yourself for long-term failure. Don’t give your ex the satisfaction of ruining your life, because that will just make him/her more powerful. Get out and have some fun, and make sure to take good care of your body by exercising and eating right. You owe it to yourself to pull it together and learn to enjoy your own interests and pursuits.

To Truly Move On
Sometimes, years will pass before you feel that you’ve truly moved on. Though time can help the pain to go away, you may never forget your ex and the love you once shared, even if your relationship ended years ago. If you and your ex had a passionate relationship and built beautiful memories together, it may be impossible for you to forget about the relationship entirely. That doesn’t have to be a bad thing however, as long as you’re able to come to terms with what happened and find new love. Moving on and getting over someone doesn’t mean that you have to forget your past entirely – it means being able to find a place for him or her in your heart but still have the ability to move on with your life.

Even if you have moved on, be careful if you decide to pursue a friendship with this person. To make sure it’s a good idea, check out Should You be Friends with your Ex? No matter what, keep your fond memories of the relationship, but try to put your rage or sadness behind you. Learn to take care of yourself and have fun on your own. You’ll be surprised by how strong you are.

So Are You Truly Over Your Ex now?
It's been months since you and your ex parted ways, and you've been navigating the road to recovery ever since. Has that road been surprisingly smooth or unbearably bumpy? Find out if you're really ready to move on to new adventures in love and life or if you're still hung up on your ex.

Take this Are You Over Your Ex quiz.


Above article is partially taken from lifescript with tonnes of my own remarks here and there.. hahahaha

i ought to get a Phd in this