Memories

I've had a lot of trouble sleeping lately. I blamed it on stress. It's not that I can't sleep or even fall asleep: it's just that 'something' keeps waking me up frequently in the night. That's why I can't sleep.

I hope this passes on quickly because for me it's mostly reminders of things.Memories you call it.

I don't mean to get all crazy and bat-shit, but if your brother, mate, friend, sister and/or best friend, and the one you spent 23.5 hours a day with for your whole life was gone you'd be sad too.

So memories, I hope you hang in there, and please stop waking me up at midnight, 2:30 am in the morning, and also 3:30 am, and most imptly 6 am. Thank you very muchie.

Fathers Day

Saw this yesterday and teared abit.
Thought of my dad.

Do watch this show. Simon Yam gave a Stirling performance.

Happy Father's Day.

T.O.D.A.Y

Today is a special day.

Not because i forgot my HP like someone else
Not because it rained.
Not becaused they served us curry for lunch today.

It is my Dad's Birthday.


31 July 2008 marks the anniversary of my Dad's passing.

Today would have been his 70th birthday.


And i m at a lost for words as i type this entry.


There are many things i want to tell him. Many things i want him to do. Many things i hope he cna advise. Many things i hope he will tell me to go take a drink and sweep it under the carpet as he will take care of it.

Many many many things... ...

I wanna blog about the things i did this morning before i came office.
I wanna blog what i saw at the columbarium.
I wanna blog how i woke up late, how i hurriedly rushed through stuff just to hit office at 9am for meetings and only to forget my mobile.


All i wanna say is really...

How much i miss his tobacco smell.
How much i miss coming home to him watching TV.
How much i miss reading Chinese newspapers.
How much i miss someone nagging at me to clean my room.



In reality, how much i miss him.

原來這裡沒有你

A whirlwind of 5 days.

Seeing all the old and familiar faces arriving,

Some of them with flushed faces,
Some of them with lines clearly across the faces.

Yet i see them all mourning your loss.

The Taoist priest went off in hakka about your story,
as though he knew you personally.

He spoke of your youth and your struggles.
He spoke of your pain and your joys.

Second morning I see 3yr old Iggy crying and asking for his ah gong to bring him out for a walk.
An older 5yr old Xingyan went to him and pat him on his shoulders,
proclaiming that "Ah Gong sit aeroplane liaos"

Was that supposed to be comic relief or relief that we dun have to explain death to a couple of tots.

i dunno... all i heard in the background were muffled sobbing and weeping.

My Godma told me this,

"How do you feel? Do you know he's gone? Forever? We will never get to see him anymore again."

My heart took a hit then.

She carried on,

"I dunno how i gonna wake up without him by my side."
"If only... .... ..."

I lost myself there.

The nights were long... People were generally talking about everything except him.

I had the privilege of staying up for the nights.

On the last night, me and 3 other brothers decide to play mahjong to while away time and to keep awake..

My Second Brother said this,

"He would never allow us to play mahjong so late one;
why dun we sit away from his altar."

All has been said and done in this another chapter of my life.

July has indeed been a bad month for me.

I lost 2 Fathers in the space of 1 year.

Paper Anniversary

31st July 2008 marks the 1 year that you’ve been apart from us physically.
Mentally was 6 years ago.

I tink you’ve found peace and release in the netherworld.

I never knew living without you in my life was so tough.

This entire 365 days was spent numbing myself the first 4 months…
then losing my identity over the subsequent 4
And finally picking up the pieces over the last period.

Mum is fine.
She has visited temples in China with her sisters.
She adores my little nephew whom adores her equally.
Both of them spend most time together.

I am glad that little punk is helping her.

Life gives rise to life.

I remember my dad being a bit of a character, which is my experience that as men (and really women too, but I'm focusing on dad) age, their idiosyncrasies that are kinda funny and it juz blows up into just plain ridiculous and nuts. I can't speak for everyone but I think most dad's are a bit looney in their own way as they and us age together.



My dad is wonderfully generous and completely dedicated to his family.
My dad is a biker fanatic and he has probably every class of license there is, he has had a Yamaha Bike for about the last 10 years, my mom was constantly nagging at him to get rid of his riding. His main biker buddy is also a man whom he works for before his illness and a co-investor in his business. They used to go to biking trips all the way up to Southern Thailand and Malaysian States every year. (They don't go as much in the recent years due to constant family nagging and the long ride on the North-south highway which wipes them out physically and mentally)



This is my Dad
The best father a kid could ever have
You laughed a lot and kept me happy
Even if some of your jokes were kinda crappy.

Never punished for my stubborn pride
You bought me all my wants
At times I was sent to bed without any dinner
You would bring me to McDonalds
On the pretense of buying evening papers
In my eyes, Dad, you are always my Hero.

From broken legs to a broken life
You helped me though all of life’s transitions
As I grew older, I grew to learn how hard it was for you
But your resilient love for me kept shining through.

You were always there to calm all my fears
Until that day I found you deeply asleep
During my many crises, you always knew what to do
I yearned to learn more from you.

But you left me to fend on my own.
After 30 years of walking with me,
Hand by hand,
You let go.



Today marks a year of living life without you.

She Did it....

Valedictorian of NTU

Winner of LKY award.



but i gonna miss her convocation looooooooooooo

My Brother is called Maria

I couldn't resist posting this.



They don't make little brothers like this anymore.

For Amos only

How do you find someone so good natured and willing to take a soccer ball shot on the head?

Anyway today is Amos's birthday.



Here is his profile on Facebook and Friendster

He has a page selling reject stuff. Take a look if you want.

Siew Hin's Wedding Nite

My best friend of all 19 years. stepped into his singlehood grave



Nice album but lousy english....


Me and the groom


The cutest evar little girl in the entire wedding.


The groom at 1am Sunday Morning